Polite rejection dating
And as the Internet was reminded this week, it’s particularly dicey for straight women turning down straight men.On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan’s online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her.It’s the pain of male entitlement and female autonomy being simultaneously disregarded. By pivoting this masculinity threat into a promise that heteronormative gender roles can be rewritten to reward agency over access and recast men and women as people instead of pursuers and prizes.And, in this case, not taking ‘no’ for an answer.*Some women don’t handle romantic rejection well, either. In exclusively exploring how masculinity and rejection relate, I’m not suggesting women don’t have their own rejection management issues.This is the of rejection you might face, and talk about handle each of them Because once you know about all of the different things that can happen and are prepared for them there is no longer anything to be afraid of.And if you get deeper into our training, you’ll develop an unbreakable mindset that will allow you to laugh in the face of rejection.A 2013 study “The Prevalence and Nature of Unrequited Love” found it FOUR times as commonly experienced as what the authors called “equal love.” And not terribly surprising, men appear to experience it more.A likely byproduct of a heteronormative narrative in which men are expected to play pursuers, they might put themselves in the line of rejection fire more frequently.
For unverified Twitter evidence, behold: tends to be on either side of this uncomfortable (or downright caustic) exchange, a gendered blueprint for Guys Gone Wild in Response to Girls NOT Going Wild emerges. For starters, being attracted to someone is very much a dice roll, as it’s statistically likely to dead-end.
Luckily these rude dismissals are rare and your response to them is a no-brainer. Show her – and yourself – that you find her rudeness to be cute and amusing.
It is important not to get upset or to make it look like this has phased you in any way because if there are any other women around that you want to talk to you don’t want them to know that you got all butt hurt because of some rude girl.
A 1997 study among young people, for instance, found 16- to 20-year-old men experienced more unreturned attraction and love, compared to episodes of mutual attraction as well as women in the same age group.
(Those researchers would probably have a field day with Tinder data today.)To that potential add something sociologists call “masculinity threat.” Masculinity threat occurs when a guy feels (consciously or not) he can’t fulfill masculine gender role expectations, such as being a breadwinner, possessing physical strength and enjoying sexual access to women.